I’m sorry to be the one to tell you but we’ve had a call from the fire department to say that they know how old you’re turning today and that your birthday cake is for sure going to be a fire hazard!
We’ll just have to find some other, safer way to celebrate this grand age of yours!
You are my best friend and because of that, I feel it’s my responsibility to remind you not to blow out your candles too hard today as you wouldn’t want your false teeth to come out!
You might want to forget about your birthday but I never could! I’ll take any opportunity to remind you that you’re getting older, my friend! Happy birthday!