I am a true friend, buddy. I’ll always remember your birthday but as a courtesy and out of respect for you, I’ve chosen to stop keeping track of your age!
In my mind, you’re only as old as you feel! Happy birthday to you!
Make sure you smile for every photo that’s taken of you today, my friend, so at least that way you’ll have something to look back on in a few years and remember what it was like when you used to have your own teeth!
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you but we’ve had a call from the fire department to say that they know how old you’re turning today and that your birthday cake is for sure going to be a fire hazard!
We’ll just have to find some other, safer way to celebrate this grand age of yours!
You should consider yourself very honored and particularly lucky that you are one of the few people whose birthday I can remember by heart! You must be somewhat important to me, I guess!
You are my best friend and because of that, I feel it’s my responsibility to remind you not to blow out your candles too hard today as you wouldn’t want your false teeth to come out!